Helping business owners, freelancers & other self-employed creatives succeed… and have fun doing it. It can be overwhelming at times, but there’s nothing like the privilege of working for yourself – making your own rules, owning your time, and trusting your instincts to make the right decisions. With short episodes that get straight to the point, this podcast is about the common issues we face in business, along with solutions that work for other creatives like you. Aardvark Girl is a producer, project manager & business specialist with 20+ years of experience managing companies & helping people in creative industries. She helps you get a handle on the business side of things so you can focus on your talent. Let's get to work!
Episodes
Monday Aug 16, 2021
Aiden Clark McFarland: Be Limitless
Monday Aug 16, 2021
Monday Aug 16, 2021
He's a business and lifestyle coach with a gender-free clothing line called Limitless. He helps other creatives not only think outside the box, but blow up the box entirely. Please welcome Aiden Clark McFarland.
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Connect with Aiden:
https://www.limitlesswearables.com/
Twitter @AidenLimitless
Instagram @aidenislimitless
YouTube: Be Limitless and Queerate
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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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00:40 Instead of just a bump, it became a wall of like, do I keep wanting to push other people's visions forward or do I want to start finding my own? Can I build something that incorporates all these different elements of myself without restricting them? That's where I went, what can I do? How can I start building this? I literally started looking for ways to build an income from scratch. That gradually became a lifestyle.
03:50 I ended up leaving that company, just doing things on my own, and really cultivating my client roster until instead of "I'm just going to work and keep getting clients and keep getting income," I started fostering it down to which of these clients do I feel passionate about their projects? Do I feel they're including me versus me just being a cog in their machine? I really was able to fine-tune. By that point, I had replaced my job income. I set a date and I left my job.
07:24 I was not happy with the clothes I was finding off the rack. They didn't express what I wanted to express. If I went to the women's section, it wasn't built for my body. If I went to the men's section, it was drab and boring. I wanted to find more clothes that fit me, and then I finally had this duh moment of, well, I sew. I've been making costumes and stuff for years. Why don't I start making clothing for myself? Why don't I start a clothing line?
09:43 Then it just became, well, now that I'm making these clothes, of course, they're all going to have pockets. The first round of clothing is very unisex, very gender-free, with more tunics, robes, and things like that.
12:00 I was just going to tease it out like, here's an item. I'd take it to shows. When that became not an option, I had to really look at this, get really serious, and build a business plan. How much would it really take to create a full line out the gate? What would that look and how much would I need? I did the Kickstarter. It got fully funded. It's amazing.
19:05 I was just hearing similar themes through all the conversations of like, “But I don't, I don't want to offend anybody.” A lot of fear of being seen and fear of being heard. Also, “Nobody is going to be interested in what I'm creating. It's not good enough. I need to do more before I can share it.” A lot of that are holding ourselves back because we don't think we're ready or good enough. As I started getting out of my own way, really getting out there, showing my voice, getting on social media, starting a YouTube channel, and putting out the clothing line, I was like, I have this experience of my own to share plus my years in business and admin.
21:30 The more of our artist friends that I was helping with little business things, the more I was seeing that all the business help in the world wasn't going to get them where they wanted to be because they were still holding themselves back out of the fear of not being good enough, or “My product isn't going to do the thing or be what people want.” What they needed was to get comfortable with their voice, with their creativity, with putting it out there, and just letting it go into the world. Letting your child go out into the world and see what happens.
24:51 Look at the materials you've used to create that piece of art. What did they cost you? What practice and training have you done? Did you go to art school? Have you been drawing every day for 10 years and that's how you've gotten to this level? Did you buy better paints so that the quality is better? It's not just about you and what you think your creation in that little time window is worth. It's about everything that has built you to this point. That's what the charging is about. It's not just about the value you put on yourself. It's this culmination of all these different parts and pieces.
30:50 I've seen it happen with both arts, with my virtual assisting, and with everything in between. If somebody is going for your bottom rates, that is the client or commission that is coming at you every five seconds with complaints and concerns. “Can you tweak this? What about one more thing? What about one more thing? What if I add this?” Whereas if you start from your high rate, they're just like, “Great, here you go. Straightforward. I trust you, go with it.” It's so mind-boggling because it feels counterintuitive.
33:18 I think, honestly, one of the positives that have come out of the whole pandemic is, I think, people are talking a little bit more realistically about mental health and the need to treat that just like any other health issue.
34:43 Being a creative, having the business, and all the mental health and the self-care, it all has to be interconnected. That's a big piece also of my coaching and how I approach it. I don't look at it as, “Well, now I'm doing my job." "Now I'm having my life.” It's all integrated. It is my lifestyle, all of it together. I feel like I embraced "eff it" as a spirituality and that I was done with anything that didn't serve my lifestyle as a whole. That meant adding some things, taking some things out, but I am done fitting into what society has told me "life," "career," and "work" are supposed to look like. They made it all up. I'm going to make it up too.
39:17 I feel we tend to set these deadlines for ourselves that are so arbitrary. When you feel that pressure of there's too much, take a step back and look at the list and be like, which of these actually have deadlines? Which of them are self-imposed deadlines that the only person holding me to them is me? Also, taking a further step back with I love what I do. I'm passionate about what I do but it's not a life or death situation. If I don't get that done today, nobody's actually going to die.
41:54 That doesn't mean that there aren't going to be times where you do push and work a lot. It can come in spurts but you have to be very aware of, know where your limits are, and not consistently push yourself past them because that's where you hit the burnout. If you occasionally do it, you're okay. If all you ever do is push yourself past it, recipe for failure.
43:18 Any situation you're in, whether it's the idea of launching something new, putting something new out there, leaving a job to focus on your creativity, or raising your prices, any of it, if fear is holding you back, ask what is the worst thing? What is my worst fear? What is the worst thing that could actually happen? Realistically, look at that worst thing and go, if that happened, what would I do? By doing that, we often find we're much more resilient than we think we are. The fears that are holding us back are really things that aren't the end of the world. They only feel like it but when you actually take a step back and look at them, that's not that bad. It might mean a few things have to change a little bit, but ultimately I'd get back up and keep going. It's not the end of the world. Nobody's going to die.
Monday Aug 09, 2021
Stop Treating Women This Way
Monday Aug 09, 2021
Monday Aug 09, 2021
Even with all of the recent momentum in the right direction, women are still being mistreated at work. We're still being talked down to, ogled, touched, or otherwise made to feel uncomfortable when we're just trying to do our jobs. A lot of men don't even realize this is happening, even when they're at the same place. We need to keep speaking up for ourselves and others until this behavior stops.
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Please leave a review and subscribe so you never miss an episode! Questions and comments can also be emailed to info@aardvarkgirl.com
Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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Assuming you’ve listened to previous episodes, you probably know I don’t like to focus on problems because I’m more interested in solutions. I’m an eternal optimist who believes everything works out the way it’s supposed to. I look for the best in everyone. I don’t hold grudges. I treat everyone with kindness without losing sight of my boundaries. I do understand that not all people do the same.
With this podcast, I like to keep things light. I do have a bit of a tough love approach at times, but it’s always from a place of wanting to help. I talk about serious business topics but I’m not exactly controversial in my opinions. I stay out of debates and respect that people have the right to make their own choices, even if they don’t agree with mine. Some might say that’s playing it safe, but I’m not into the drama. It’s not my place to change people’s opinions. When I speak about business, I’m speaking from experience. And I give a lot of disclaimers that my way might not work for everyone because we’re all so different.
But when it comes to how people, especially women, are treated, I don’t think it’s so subjective. There’s right and there’s wrong. It shouldn’t be controversial. But I don’t know why, especially in recent years when there’s been so much momentum, we’re still so far behind where we should be.
I realize that one thing I’ve enjoyed about not being on a set in the past year and a half is that I haven’t had to deal with people misbehaving in person. My first job back I was reminded that there are still so many issues with how women are treated, whether it’s being talked down to, expected to do certain tasks based on gender and not position, or being ogled or touched in uncomfortable ways. It’s not all men and it’s not on every job, but it’s happening far too often and I think we should talk about it.
I’ve had a lot of conversations about this recently and what I’m finding is that most women are still experiencing this, and that most men don’t realize it’s happening, even when they’re working at the same place. They don’t think it’s an ongoing problem because they’re just not aware. I think part of this is because they don’t pay attention. I don’t even mean that as a criticism. It’s more that they’re focused on their own job and not looking at what everyone else is doing. Also, the offenders are usually smart enough to know they can’t act inappropriately when others are around to witness it. And some of them sadly don’t realize when what they’re doing is inappropriate or making someone else uncomfortable. The lack of awareness is an issue in itself.
Based on a collection of stories from women I’ve talked to, here are some of the many things we shouldn’t have to deal with, but for some reason still are. These scenarios have all happened within the last year, so I’m not talking about the way things used to be. I’m talking about how they are now.
We shouldn’t have to wear baggy clothes in hopes it will cover our figures so men don’t gawk while they talk to us or watch us walk by.
We shouldn’t have to do our best to be “one of the guys” so we don’t attract the wrong attention.
We shouldn’t have to get our friends to help us leave safely because we’re afraid someone is going to follow us home or back to our hotel.
We shouldn’t have to worry that being nice, or professional, is an invitation for bad behavior.
We shouldn’t have to explain why we don’t want to hug you. Even if you saw us hugging someone else, that doesn’t mean you are entitled to one yourself.
We shouldn’t have to hear that we’re overreacting or reading too much into a behavior. If we’re uncomfortable, any reaction we have is valid.
We shouldn’t have to walk the other direction when we see someone coming because we don’t want him to stare, or touch us, or smell us, or whatever other weird thing he does that we’d rather avoid.
We shouldn’t have to ask men to stop talking down to us, talking over us, or otherwise trying to assert power where it doesn’t belong. Give us the same respect we give you, or the same respect you’d give a man in our position.
We shouldn’t have to worry that an invitation to a “group” dinner is actually an attempt to get us alone somewhere.
We shouldn’t be expected to answer phones, get coffee, order lunch, clean the office, or anything else that isn’t part of our job description solely because we are women. Men are capable of doing all of these things, too.
We shouldn’t get texts out of the blue with inappropriate pictures or suggestive comments.
We shouldn’t have to be rescued by other people on the crew because we’ve been literally cornered by someone and can’t escape. But we are glad those other people walked in when they did.
We shouldn’t be excluded from company gatherings because we don’t golf or smoke cigars, or at least you assume we don’t. We don’t have to do those things to participate in conversations and comradery and we shouldn’t miss out on opportunities and promotions because we weren’t invited.
We shouldn’t have to tell you to not touch us. It doesn’t matter where or how. Just don’t touch us.
We shouldn’t be flagged as difficult because we spoke up when something wrong was happening.
We shouldn’t have to ignore these things because speaking up about them could put our jobs in jeopardy.
We shouldn’t have to talk about the time we got fired because the man who continued to misbehave, even after being asked not to multiple times, was deemed too important so the options were to deal with it or be removed from the situation.
These last two play a large role in why more women don’t speak up. This is often happening in the middle of a project where there is too much to get done in a short period of time. Saying something could interfere with the necessary progress. It could put extra stress on other people. It could change the working dynamic in a way that causes more issues and could negatively affect the project, the company, or the client. We don’t want to cause problems. We just want to do our work and feel safe doing it.
But we aren’t causing problems when these situations are happening to us. We are not asking for it. We do not deserve it. We shouldn’t need to lighten up or stop being so uptight or just accept that this is the nature of the business. It is not.
Sometimes it’s not a coworker acting this way, it’s the client. And then what are we supposed to do? The client isn’t going to be asked to leave his own project. He’s not going to be let go for inappropriate behavior. We are the ones who will suffer the repercussions. Or we just have to suck it up and accept that it’s going to continue to happen, and that’s not okay.
I don’t want to hear these stories anymore. I don’t want to tell these stories anymore. I want this behavior to stop.
We need to feel safe speaking up when these things happen. We need to be heard and we need people to take action. There’s that whole idea of see something, say something. We need that. We need more people to open their eyes. We need people to listen to us when we tell them these things are happening. We need people to be more aware of what’s going on around them. We need men to consider how their actions affect us and understand that, even if their intentions aren’t ill-natured, their actions might be interpreted differently.
There are plenty of good guys, nice guys, allies, out there. We see you and we appreciate you. But for the ones who don’t think what they’re doing is wrong, there’s still a lot of work to be done.
Monday Aug 02, 2021
Which Kind of Person Are You?
Monday Aug 02, 2021
Monday Aug 02, 2021
There are different choices you can make as a business owner, whether you’re a client or a vendor, a per-project freelancer or on retainer, or whatever your particular setup may be. These choices will impact your interactions with others on a job, and that may also affect whether you get hired again. But it seems people often forget, or don’t care, to think about these things. It all goes back to some common themes on this podcast – mindset, communication, and being a decent human. So, which kind of human are you?
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Connect with me @aardvarkgirl on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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I was recently on a project with a large crew. I had 35 on my team and there were hundreds of others working together to make a big event successful. It had been a while, about a year and a half, since I worked with anyone in person. Being there, I was reminded that one thing I do love about being on a set is that it feeds my fascination with people and how they act. You get so many different personalities, working styles, communication preferences, and somehow everyone has to work together as somewhat of a cohesive unit.
I had some really great conversations that week and someone brought up something interesting about production, but I imagine it applies to plenty of other job types as well. We often bring together these big groups of people. Some may know each other personally or from previous jobs, but many are coming in with no familiarity at all. They quickly have to form bonds, learn some particular nuances, and then do what they do to ensure success. Sometimes it’s a day or two, sometimes it’s a couple weeks or more, but these people work closely together, often for 10 or more hours a day, and then when it’s over, they part ways and may never see each other again. It’s an odd type of relationship building where you get close fast and then break up just as quickly.
Merging so many different personalities can be challenging, as I talked about in episode 59. That was more about dealing with others. Now, I’m asking you to be a bit introspective and figure out which person you are, and whether you’re making it easy for people to work with you or if you’re the one they have to deal with. Are you the one who complains or the one who makes the best out of it? Are you the one who gets stuck or the one who figures it out? Do you care more about yourself or the team? Think about the realistic answer and why you choose to be that way.
The One Who Complains vs the One Who Makes the Best Out of It
I’ve expressed my feelings about complaining here before. While I think it can be important to vent and get things off of your mind, there’s an element of tact that comes into play with how you do it during a job. If conditions are unacceptable, that’s one thing – if you’re being mistreated, put into uncomfortable situations, or something like that, it’s important to speak up. It’s another thing when you just aren’t happy about something and wish it was better. We have to remain professional. If something is wrong, talk to someone privately and calmly and give them an opportunity to make things better. But don’t complain to others and expect the ones who can do something about it to read your mind, and then go at them when things have escalated on your part, even though you never talked to them about it in the first place. All that does is shows the people around a bad side of you, which can unfortunately overshadow all of your good qualities. Nobody wants that.
My main rule with complaining is that you only get to do it once. Beyond that, you have three choices – accept it and move on, find a solution, or walk away. Each has its own repercussions, and I would never recommend walking away from a job just because everything isn’t perfect. And constantly complaining on a job doesn’t really do anything other than make people not want to work with you. To me, the best choice is the one-two punch of making the best of it AND finding a solution.
I’ll use the common example of food to illustrate my point here, because meals always seem to create issues of some sort. If you are onsite somewhere for the day, you need to eat at some point. Hopefully a meal is provided for you, or you are given an appropriate break to go get something. Beyond that, your expectations could get you in trouble. It is impossible to make every single person on a crew happy with one meal. There are so many factors that come into play, such as what’s available in the area, what the budget allows, timing restraints, and things like that. A client-provided meal for a large group probably isn’t going to be eligible for any awards or made by a top tier chef. If you’re lucky, it’ll be good. Sometimes we’re satisfied with edible.
As a vegetarian, I go into every job expecting that I won’t be able to eat. But instead of being high maintenance about it, making demands and whining that my special needs can’t be met, I show up prepared. I bring my own food. It might not be the ideal scenario, but I know it’ll make my life easier if I take care of myself. I do this in my personal life, too. If I’m going to a barbecue, I eat before I go, or I bring something with me so I don’t have to worry about starving. I don’t think it’s reasonable to expect anyone, a client or a friend, to make special accommodations for me. I have the choice to eat what’s provided or not.
I just got back from 11 days in Van Horn, Texas. Let me tell you, they do not support vegetarians in Van Horn, Texas. We’re just not on their radar. It’s a small town with very few choices, and when I’m there I’m working long hours and the last thing I want to do at the end of a day is go sit at a restaurant with a bunch of other people, where I can maybe eat a salad if I order it without the meat. No thank you.
So in this scenario, I figured my options were: 1 – accept the situation as is and wish for the best, meaning I could show up every day hoping there was something there I could eat and deal with it. Or 2 – find a solution. Always my favorite option. So, before I even left Vegas, I shipped some food & other supplies to the hotel. Then, I got groceries in El Paso, 2 hours away but that’s where the closest Sprouts was, which I knew would live up to my personal standards. I got a bunch of produce and other fresh food I could keep in my tiny hotel refrigerator. It still wasn’t the same quality meals I’d normally be eating at home with access to my full kitchen, but it was a way to make sure I could get what I needed. And I was happy to do that so I didn’t have to worry about it. I also wasn’t going to create a problem for my client where there didn’t need to be one.
Notice how complaining wasn’t an option I considered? Because what good would that do me? It wouldn’t change the situation and it would just make more people unhappy. No point. The client did provide meals, they just weren’t what I wanted, and that doesn’t warrant a complaint from me. I have higher standards than some, but that’s not their fault. Not to mention food is such a subjective thing anyway. In that crew of 35, every day I heard some people say it was great, some say it was horrible, and a bunch of opinions in between. Again, there’s no way to make everyone happy, but you can make yourself happy if you get over the idea that you’re entitled to everything you want. Changing your mindset from a place of whining about what you don’t have to appreciating what you do have can go a long way.
The One Who Gets Stuck vs the One Who Figures it Out
In any job, you’re bound to come across some issues. Things aren’t working right, you can’t find something, you don’t have everything you need. A lot can go wrong. But when it does, what do you do? Do you go back to complaining and get stuck not making progress? Or do you figure it out so you can move forward? I’m sure it doesn’t surprise you to know that I always believe in figuring it out. When people ask that question about what’s your superpower, that’s mine. I figure things out. If someone comes to me and I don’t have an answer, I say , “I don’t know, but I will find out.” It’s the only way I know how to do things and that attitude has gotten me everywhere in my career.
Sometimes it’s just about using your brain to come up with a new way of doing something, or asking other people for help or guidance. There’s also your trusty old friend Google that can help with just about anything. But it seems like sometimes people are happier complaining and they don’t actually want to solve a problem. One of the clients on this job was telling me about someone who, for days, was whining about how he didn’t have a specific type of tape. But he made no effort to get it. There were so many people around who would’ve had that tape and would probably be willing to share it, sell it, or something. We could’ve placed an order, run into town to get some, all kinds of simple solutions but it never got to me or anyone on my team who could’ve helped. I don’t know why. You never want the client observing your lack of ability to get things done. That’s not a good way to be seen.
Finding an answer might take a little extra effort on your part, but it’s better than doing nothing. For example, we were in the middle of an important rehearsal for this event and a vehicle with some of our cameras was missing, so I needed to find them. I had no firsthand knowledge of where they might be, or even who would know, but it was important and urgent so I set out to find them. Staying calm and rational in this type of situation helps a lot as well. I wasn’t going to run around the whole jobsite looking for vehicles that could be anywhere. I knew someone on the crew who had been working with that team, so I asked him. He didn’t know, but he shared the information for the guy in charge. Within a few minutes, I had all the information we needed and everything was fine. I didn’t have the answer, but I figured it out.
And you don’t have to be the one with all the ideas either. A huge perk of having a solid team is that there are other brains around that are going to think about things differently than you would. During this last job I was dealing with all kinds of weather delays and other flight issues while getting the crew to Texas. At one point, someone was stuck in St. George waiting for a flight that kept getting delayed. As I was talking to him, it was clear he’d miss his connection and he wouldn’t be able to get in until the following day, which would put us a day behind, and that wouldn’t be good. I was talking to the PA about what was going on and he suggested that the guy drive to Vegas and catch a flight out from there. As it turned out, the timing was perfect and he was able to get in that evening. I never would’ve thought about that solution, and I made sure he got credit for it, too. The important thing is the success of the project, not who has the best ideas.
Which brings me to my last comparison.
The One Who Cares More About Himself vs the One Who Cares More About the Team
One thing I’m always observing on a set or in other situations is how people act. I’m curious what drives certain behavior. You’ve probably heard me say before that I think it’s important to reclaim selfishness, but what I mean by that is that you have to look out for yourself first if you’re going to be at your best for anyone else. I don’t mean that you should only focus on what you need and forget about everyone else. And you definitely shouldn’t overlook how your actions affect others. No matter what the project is, you’re likely on a team with others and the main goal should be to have a successful outcome. It shouldn’t be about making sure you get everything you want. It’s nice when that happens, but it’s not always realistic.
I think what complicates it for some is that the complaints are perfectly valid. It’s frustrating to be in less than ideal conditions – whether it’s the hours, the food, the accommodations, the weather, or anything else - we all wish they were better. But, a lot of these things are out of our control. In hindsight, it’s easy to look a situation and say well, had we known this, we could’ve done that differently. But you can’t just call an audible and expect instant results when some things need time to happen in the middle of a project.
I like to look at the bigger picture. With a crew of 35, if you only have 3 people complaining, that’s pretty good. It shows you who is there for the team and who is there for themselves. I’m sure there was more talk amongst each other about what wasn’t going well, which is normal. The difference is in how people act after they’ve vented to someone confidentially. You can be annoyed and still be positive. You can be upset that things aren’t better while also still giving your all to your job. I’m not saying that people shouldn’t speak up when there’s a problem, but I do think we should think about how to speak up. Is it an appropriate time? Is it reasonable to expect a change in that moment? Are you putting your own needs ahead of the team’s? If you think it’s the right thing to do, then by all means, say something and see what happens.
I think we all need to be realistic about situations, too. When your client is working the same long hours, eating the same food, dealing with the same conditions, what do you expect to change? It would be different if he was sneaking off to some luxury hotel to eat fancy meals and spend the day getting spa services while everyone else is working. But when he’s the first one in each day and the last one out each day, he’s showing that he’s not expecting anything from anyone on the team that he’s not willing to do himself. That goes a long way and I feel that action deserves some respect. Disrupting other people’s progress because your personal needs aren’t being met comes across as ungrateful and like you don’t care about the job itself. And if you’re just there to collect a paycheck, not to be an integral part of something special, these types of projects probably aren’t the right ones for you.
That being said, we’re all entitled to our feelings and we have to make our own choices about how to react. I just know that, from my perspective, I don’t care if you’re the most talented person in the world at what you do, if you’re not easy to work with, I won’t hire you again. I can work with anybody and remain calm and professional. It’s usually my job to put out fires and I do my best to lead by example, which means staying optimistic, focusing on everything that’s great about a job, and not letting that other stuff get to me. I like to work with people who are similar. The ones who will keep a job fun even under trying conditions. The ones who take pride in their work, but also in who they are. That matters to me.
When you’re self-employed, the way you behave in front of others tells them everything they need to know about you. If you make the best out of situations, find solutions, and work together as a team, chances are those people will hire you for more jobs, at which time you can discuss some of the things that maybe weren’t ideal on the last one. But if you don’t take that tactful approach, if you complain and create problems and don’t focus on what’s important, you’re likely to end up on the list you don’t want to be on – the one that says don’t call this person again. It’s up to you. Which kind of person do you want to be?
Monday Jul 26, 2021
Arzo Yusuf: Social Impact Entrepreneurship
Monday Jul 26, 2021
Monday Jul 26, 2021
She's a social impact entrepreneur, a public speaker and a women's empowerment activist who's doing everything she can to make a positive change in the world. Please welcome Arzo Yusuf.
Connect with Arzo @thearzoyusuf and @thesexybossbabe
Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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00:22 A social impact entrepreneur is really somebody that has a social impact business model. So it's a for-profit business with a social component. So something that contributes to the social good of the community in various aspects. It could be the environment. It could be some kind of social cause. It could be helping out animals, helping out people - something that gives back to the community to make the world a better place.
01:09 I really kind of have a bleeding heart. It runs really deep, nd I care about humanity. I care about people. I care about my community. And I try to give back in different ways, and the suffering of people really bothers me. It hurts me. So whatever I've been able to do over the years, I've done, whether it's volunteering my time, whether it's being involved in a charity organization sitting on a board, helping raise funds to be able to donate to different causes, things like that. And then I came to kind of at crossroads in my career and personal life and I ended up starting my social impact brand, Sexy Boss Babe, and having it structured as a social impact company made sense for me.
02:43 Just because you are someone with a good heart, and you do want to give back to a good cause, it doesn't mean that you should completely self-sacrifice. You can definitely do good in the world but still take care of yourself and make sure that your business is making money and thriving while you're giving back.
03:37 Sexy Boss Babe is actually a beauty product. There are these little cute glue on nails that saves you time from going to the salon. So that's definitely one way of getting self-care, and then it's a fun beauty product and the brand identity is all about women empowerment. So we have our own definition of what a sexy boss babe is - it's a breed of woman that's confident from the inside out. She can be thin or plus size, tall, short, athletic, any size, shape, or color. Her beauty comes from knowing her self-worth and going after what she wants in life. She is fierceful and empowered. So every box has a positive affirmation.
And then the Sexy Boss Babe Podcast is about female-centric topics like self-esteem, empowerment, entrepreneurship, just different things that us women go through.
06:56 I think you're a pretty strong woman, and you're independent, and you're a go-getter and, you know, we have our struggles, but we don't let those titles and definitions or whatever limit us. Unfortunately, not everyone is that way, and it takes time to get to that place in our journey, I think, as being empowered women.
08:30 Self-awareness is really important, just really knowing yourself, knowing your limitations, but then also knowing what your priorities are and knowing the value of each priority. Sometimes people kind of just get stuck in the tasks of, I gotta do this, I gotta do that, but if you take your time and just look at, what's the value out of this activity? You're like, wait, this is not doing anything. This is actually a complete waste of my time, but it's keeping me busy. So you have to know those things and you don't always know them right away. Sometimes it takes time, through trial and error, to figure out, okay, wait, this was not a value added activity.
11:00 As a small business, social media is very important, but at the same time, it might not always be your revenue generator. And it takes a lot of input into social media to really get the return on investment.
13:34 I have these periods where I have three months of really hard go, go, go, and then after that project, or whatever it is, gets completed, it's like, okay, I have a decompress period. And then planning starts for the next thing and then I end up going really hard for another three months. It seems to work and it allows me to kind of juggle and balance all the different things.
14:53 Just after I left my job and my career to start Sexy Boss Babe, I gave myself the space to let it just flow and didn't force myself to be in a structure. But what I also noticed is what I was doing, I was very passionate about, and everything was very aligned for me, so it just flowed naturally.
16:22 I think as humans, the traumas that we go through in life, that stress management and being hard on ourselves, a lot of times it doesn't come from us. It comes from the voice in our head, which can be a mom or a dad, or a mean teacher or whatever. I think with entrepreneurship, it's an opportunity to self-reflect. You know, entrepreneurship, it's a stressful thing. You have to be a little unorthodox to do it.
17:32 I reached a kind of a crossroads in my career. I had outgrown the job that I was in. I had done well for myself. I could have gone to a competitor for a different type of a role or whatever, but I just felt like it doesn't match with my spirit. And I've come this far, but I don't know how much longer I can live as my avatar.
18:29 I got the idea for Sexy Boss Babe and I immediately started working on it, and I probably worked on it for about eight months before I quit my job. Then me quitting my job, it wasn't like I'm going to quit in eight months. It just fizzled itself out, you know? And it just was the right time. Sometimes life and your spirit or whatever knows this is time, it's time to go. So I ended up leaving my job at that point and fully focused on Sexy Boss Babe for the last few years.
20:28 I have a really strong sales background, and that has probably helped me tremendously with communication because when you are selling, whether it's a service or a product, you have to understand the other person. You have to kind of understand their psychology. You have to understand, is this somebody that's analytical? Is this somebody that's relationship-oriented? Is this somebody that likes to talk? Is this somebody that makes impulsive decisions? Is this somebody that takes their time? All of these things kind of play into it. So you really have to understand people really well, and doing that work for as long as I have, it taught me a lot about people. When you put the other person in mind, it helps create an ease and a flow with the communication, and then you'll get your chance to ask for whatever it is that you want or communicate the thing that you want.
23:51 At the end of the day, it's up to us what kind of experiences we want to have with others. Are they quality experiences or transactional, right? We can get something accomplished in a transactional way through manipulating somebody, but does that feel good at the end of the day? How many times can we do that and feel good about ourselves? Right? So definitely that higher quality interaction requires investment. It requires trust. It requires generosity.
25:53 If you're going to be in business, whether it's selling product or providing a service, what are you doing? You're providing something for somebody else. So you're giving something and, yes, you deserve your value. You deserve your money. There are some clients that are difficult clients. We've all had those. You're allowed to not work with difficult clients. That's a choice that you have, especially if you're a small business. If you're not going to have some flexibility, if you're not going to bend a little bit, your business is not going to survive long term, you know?
28:14 Another unfortunate reality is that most businesses fail. They don't live longer than a few years, three to five years. A lot of people go into business without customer service experience, without sales experience. It goes back to that communication piece. It goes back to the relationship and trust piece, and understanding people. If you're not a people person, business might not be for you.
30:00 The Sexy Boss Babe podcast and female-centric topics, it's not to put anybody down, it's to help us. It's to help women to say, "Hey, set the expectations upfront. Speak up." It's okay to say, "Hey, these are my rules. This is what you're going to get for this price. You know, if you want these extra ad-ons, this is what it is." Set the expectations so the client knows, and you know, there are your boundaries.
31:58 I was in an abusive relationship for about four years, and when I finally got out of that, I felt very broken. I am a pretty independent and strong person and coming out of that, it made me really question myself, like how did I get here? And I just didn't have that little spark in me anymore. I felt just kind of, as a person, as a female being in any kind of relationship where you feel taken advantage of, I felt like I betrayed myself in a way. So all of those things that affects your confidence, right? So that strong, independent, go-getter, it wasn't there. She was gone. So for the next year, I started just doing things to try to just kind of rebuild and refine myself and kind of reconnect that spark back in me.
34:54 I think every person needs to do some type of volunteer work on a regular basis. It doesn't have to be every day. It doesn't have to be every month, but one month a year, every other month, once a week, whatever your schedule will allow, do something that's not about you and it's about somebody else. If we did those kinds of things more, even just little things, it changes our perspective. It makes us, over time, better people. Then we are kinder and have more compassion for humanity.
38:06 I feel like humanity is at it's anger stage right now. Everyone's just angry. It's not healthy for anybody, but if you can realize the inequities in the world and know how horrible they are and, over time, get away from the anger, but don't forget that the inequities are there, and then do something about it. I always say, if everyone just grabbed a corner, you know, we can get the sheet folded.
40:38 You've got to take yourself out of your element sometimes and do something different that has nothing to do with your job and your entrepreneurship, business, goals, or whatever.
44:13 Growth happens when you're uncomfortable. Growth happens when it's scary. Growth happens when there are mistakes. You're not going to grow if you're constantly trying to be perfect. If you are going to do something that's perfect because you've already had enough experience doing it, you're limiting yourself. But I love putting myself in uncomfortable, scary situations that force me to grow.
45:07 Have patience with the process. Whatever you're doing, or whatever your end goal is, it's probably going to take longer than what you anticipate. So love it, and have patience.
Monday Jul 19, 2021
Business Therapy
Monday Jul 19, 2021
Monday Jul 19, 2021
The “Business for Self-Employed Creatives” club meets every Wednesday at 4pm Pacific on Clubhouse. Each week, we discuss a different topic that most of us are dealing with or have dealt with in the past, and we brainstorm solutions together. It’s really nice to have a group of other solo business owners to chat with about all this stuff. Sometimes when you’re doing everything yourself, it can feel like you don’t have anyone to talk to or that no one will understand. It’s a nice way to take a break from work for an hour to talk about what’s going on with others who get it. It's like a weekly dose of business therapy.
Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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We took a few weeks off because we all had stuff going on and it seemed like a good time to take a break. But when we came back, we collectively realized we had missed it. It’s almost like a weekly group therapy chat and the conversations are pretty helpful. If you’re on Clubhouse, we’d love to have you join us. I have some invitations available so if you’re not on Clubhouse but want to be, send me a message – you can DM me on social @aardvarkgirl or email info@aardvarkgirl.com.
Back in 2020 when I was battling my never-ending quest to find the right description for my services, there was a period where I was contemplating business therapy. A lot of my coaching work is pretty much the same thing. It’s listening to others talk about their issues, making impartial observations, and offering some guidance. That guidance isn’t about me telling anyone what to do or even what they should do, but more about helping them realize the answers they already have within them. It might sound hokey to put it that way, but it really is the case.
We get so stuck in our heads sometimes, thinking about everything that’s going on, that we don’t realize what’s happening subconsciously, or what might be completely obvious to someone on the outside. Talking about things with someone else can be immensely helpful, as long as it’s the right person to whom you’re talking. It helps get all the noise out of your head and can offer a bit of a release and even help you find some clarity about your situation.
Venting can be incredibly important. Venting, not complaining. I differentiate between the two because venting is talking to a trusted person about the frustrations you’re dealing with, just to let it out and maybe commiserate with someone else who understands. But from there, you do what you need to do and move on. Complaining, on the other hand, is continuing to focus on what’s going wrong without making any effort to fix it. I don’t find that to be healthy. If you continue to have the same problem but haven’t done anything differently to solve it, I don’t want to hear about it anymore.
I don’t mean that to be harsh, but I’m not able to help people who aren’t willing to help themselves. I can’t fix anyone. I can offer my best advice, my strongest opinions about what would be the best move for them, but I can’t actually do the work for anyone else. People don’t always want to admit that. They go to a coach because they want guidance, but then they don’t want to make the effort. Just like with so many things, they’re looking for that magical solution. We tend to acknowledge that more on the personal side – you can’t lose weight if you’re not willing to change your food and diet. You’re not going to get a promotion if you’re not willing to take on extra responsibilities at work to show you deserve it. You’re not going to find the extra time you need to work on that project if you’re not ready to give up some of your tv binge-watching hours. This all applies to business as well. If there’s something you want to improve, you have to be willing to do the work to get there. You can’t expect it to just happen without the effort on your part.
I think it’s easy for people to forget the psychological aspect of running a business. It’s not just about doing a job. You have to think about things differently. You make all of the decisions for what’s best. You earn the successes and have to live with the let downs. There are time you have to develop a thick skin so you don’t take rejection personally if you don’t land that client you were really excited to work with, or the project that could’ve helped you a lot financially falls through. You have to hold several positions simultaneously and understand how to divide your brainpower between all the things that need to be done. It can be exhausting. And exhilarating. Sometimes it’s both.
There is also a lot more to it than creating a business plan and setting up systems. There is a lot of internal work that goes into running a business. Mindset is a trending topic because it’s a crucial part of living as a human. You can decide how to feel about things and how to react to them. You have to drown out the external noise and listen to your instincts. Sometimes you have to be willing to take a risk when you know one path makes more sense on paper but you feel yourself compelled to do something that seems less logical.
Before I decide to take on a new coaching client, I have them fill out a questionnaire about what they’re doing now, what they want to do, what their goals are, all the standard stuff. But, I also have them explain why they have those goals. I have them assign a point system based on practical things like income potential, timeframe required to complete it, and their current level of experience in that area. I also have them assign points based on passion and instinct. It’s maybe not the traditional way to look at things, but I think it’s important to factor it all into your decisions.
This is why what I do is more like therapy sometimes. It really does have a lot to do with feelings and other ideas not typically associated with business. And that’s why it helps to talk to others who are doing the same thing. Even if it’s not the same kind of business, there are parallels with everyone. And sometimes even your best friends, no matter how long you’ve known them, simply don’t get it. It has nothing to do with intelligence, but until you run your own business, you really don’t know what it’s like.
Even when I worked for someone else, though, I always felt like I was somewhat of a therapist. I was always listening to everyone’s problems and figuring out how to help them. At my last job, my coworkers would literally lie down on my couch and talk to me about their issues. I never mind though. Listening and observing are strengths for me and, mixed with my logical-leaning less-than-emotional approach to most things, I think I have a different perspective that, fortunately, people seem to find helpful. In other words, my brain is weird and that works for me.
So even if you don’t talk publicly in a place like Clubhouse, I strongly suggest talking to other self-employed creatives out there. It’s really helpful to talk about things with someone who gets it, or even better, a group of people who get it. They can offer you their own perspective of your situation. You can brainstorm solutions based on what has worked for them and maybe figure out some options you hadn’t thought of yet. And you can laugh, which is equally important. Not all situations are funny, of course, but there is something to be said for all the stories we have after we’ve made it through the frustration. We all have those worst client stories. The can you believe they asked me to do this situations. The times when everything that could go wrong, and then some, did but you managed to make it through and ended up looking like a Rockstar. It’s a good reprieve from your actual work.
You are always invited to join us on Clubhouse on Wednesdays at 4pm Pacific time in the “Business for Self-Employed Creatives” club for your weekly dose of business therapy.
Monday Jul 12, 2021
Building Relationships with Quality Clients
Monday Jul 12, 2021
Monday Jul 12, 2021
Quality clients appreciate what you do, value your time, and respect your boundaries. But how do you build those relationships and weed out the ones who want to micromanage or bully you about rates?
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Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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We had a great chat on Clubhouse a few weeks ago about finding quality clients. Specifically, how do you find good clients who are willing to pay appropriate rates? This is something I feel like everyone in business deals with, no matter how long they’ve been doing it. It can be particularly challenging for those whose businesses are new but their experience is not.
What makes clients quality? They appreciate what you do and let you know it. They understand that all the time you’ve spent developing your skills has value and are happy to pay for it. They trust your workflow and know you’ll get the job done. They make you a priority whenever they have a new job for you. Sometimes they put you on retainer because they know they need you.
When is a client not quality? When they are demanding and inconsiderate. When they try to bully you into charging less. When they want to micromanage everything you do and make comments like “I don’t understand why that would take so long” when they don’t even know how to do it themselves. When they don’t respect your boundaries and expect you to be available whenever it’s convenient for them.
I’m fortunate to only have quality clients now, because I won’t accept anything less. But it took some time to establish my process and to learn how to weed out the undesirables more quickly. All of that comes with time and experience. There isn’t any way to guarantee a new client is going to be a good one. You don’t really know until you start working with them. What you can guarantee is that you are not willing to put up with any behavior that doesn’t live up to the standards you have set for yourself.
Only you can define what is quality and what is not for you. I think it’s helpful to define your business rules so you are clear about what’s important to you. I have rules about time, rate, and location. I have set office hours when I am available to clients that are based around my own personal schedule. I don’t work past a certain time, usually 4pm or 5pm depending on the day. I don’t work weekends (and working means responding to emails, calls and texts as well). There are always exceptions and if something is urgent I’ll make myself available to help, but I prioritize my down time.
I also stand by my rates. I feel that it’s important to be flexible to a degree, but I have a minimum and I won’t take any job that pays less than that because I don’t feel it’s worth my time. I’m always polite when I have to say no, but sometimes budgets just don’t align and that’s okay.
I don’t do in person meetings unless there’s a solid reason for it, and when I do, I charge a higher rate and include my commute time. My whole business is formulated on flexibility. I’m able to hop between clients and projects as needed because I’m at home and can prioritize and shift things around. When I’m somewhere in person, that client is essentially paying for my exclusivity during those hours, which costs me time I could be using elsewhere.
When you have clarity about your own rules, it’s easy to identify when someone isn’t being respectful of them. If, of course, you’ve communicated with the client about expectations – yours and theirs. You can’t expect anyone to read your mind, so you can’t really get mad if they aren’t respecting a boundary they don’t know you have, so keep that in mind. It’s important to talk about these things up front.
Another thing to keep in mind is to not concern yourself with others. I see a lot of posts in business groups, and hear from a fair amount of people, about everything that is problematic with people undercharging. It’s an epidemic and I don’t like it, but we can’t prevent people from offering services on Fiver for an insanely low rate or deciding to design their own social media posts in Canva instead of hiring a professional. That’s just going to frustrate you with no resolution. In most cases, there are going to be people who charge more than you and less than you. There will be people with more experience and less experience. You can’t worry about what they’re doing. You do you. There’s plenty of work out there for everyone, and you don’t want those clients who are paying peanuts anyway. Stand firm when it comes to your rates. Be flexible when it makes sense, but don’t be afraid to say it doesn’t work for you and you’re going to have to pass on the job.
I could go on about that for a long time, but that is a decision that’s made when you’re already having the conversation with a potential client. But how do you find those clients in the first place? There are a lot of different ways and it’s all up to you. We all have our own comfort zones when it comes to reaching out to new people and you have to do what feels good to you, although sometimes you might have to put yourself out there a little more than you care to.
Many people rely on good old fashioned cold calling. Or emailing, which is more accurate these days. It’s when you reach out to a complete stranger to talk about your services. A lot of people rely on LinkedIn for this because of the access to so many different people in different positions. With the right research, you might be able to reach out to someone directly involved in the hiring process instead of sending a message to the generic info@ email address.
Here’s where I find tact is important. Be strategic in who you reach out to and how you do it. I accept almost all LinkedIn requests. I’m not as selective there as on other platforms. But if someone sends me a request and then immediately follows up with a pitch, I’m instantly turned off from that. I understand that they have a business and are doing what they need to do, but I’m interested in building relationships, not just hiring vendors. I want to know who the people are, why they want to work with me, how we’re a good fit for each other. All those things.
It goes back to what John Masse said in his episode about selling who you are before what you do. Let me know why you connected. Why would we work well together? How do our values align? What do we have in common? Why would we make a good team? All of that is important to me. And, it has to be authentic. I have received my share of messages that are pretending to be relationship-building but are so obviously leading to a pitch and I see right through that, too. For me, a quick way to get me to rule you out is to make an assumption about me or my needs. I got one from an accounting team that was something along the lines of how they could relieve all the stress I have from managing my books and running my business. Well, I don’t stress about bookkeeping because it’s something I’ve been doing the majority of my career and it wouldn’t make any sense for me to outsource it. I am also triggered by certain words like “struggle.” If you send me a message asking what’s the number one thing I’m struggling with, or what’s holding me back, in my business because you think you can help, you’re making an assumption that I’m struggling, or being held back, and that’s not okay to me. If I hire someone it’s going to be because I am succeeding and need extra help. But that might just be a personal thing for me. The point is, don’t just reach out and pitch. That rarely seems to work.
The most important way for me to find clients is through referrals from my own network. Almost all of my business happens this way. My clients have friends who need my services and they recommend me. Then that expands my network even further. Even if you’re just starting out and you don’t have any clients yet, you can use your connections to put the word out there. You have experience of some sort, even if it’s from previous jobs. Talk to people you worked with there, or clients you used to have, if that’s appropriate. Let people know what you’re doing, what kind of work you’re looking for, and ask them to spread the word for you or to at least keep you in mind if they hear of anyone needing your services. Create a social media post and ask some people if they’d share it for you. You never know when someone is going to see it at exactly the right time.
Social media on its own is another way to find clients. This isn’t an area in which I am an expert, as I’m sure you know, but many people use it as an effective marketing tool. Think about your audience when you post. Share content that shows off what you do and also speaks to your ideal client. And there are differing opinions about this, but I think it’s important to share some personal bits on your business pages too. Not your whole life drama, but show people who you are in addition to what you do. And let them know what you need. It’s called a call to action and it’s important because people don’t always know what you’re asking for. Also, engage with potential clients and start building those relationships. Those are what will maintain steady success.
This doesn’t always work, but sometimes you can use trade for services to get a client relationship started. This only makes sense when both sides are getting something they value. An example of a time I did this is when I needed photos taken for my marketing purposes. One of my clients is an incredible photographer, so I wanted to hire him. I also do bookkeeping for two of his companies. So we made a deal and traded equal hours of each other’s time. I got some great photos and he got some free bookkeeping. Win win. It also makes me think to back in the day when the Vegas nightclubs would offer bar tabs in exchange for production services. That would never make sense for me because I have no use for food & drinks at a club. For some people, though, that was a bargain. It all depends on who is involved in the trade. But sometimes that’s a way where you can save some cash costs and still get something you need.
One situation that came up during our Clubhouse chat was someone working with an existing client but offering an additional service. The client didn’t want to pay extra for that service, which is pretty annoying. If she couldn’t offer that service, they would have to pay someone else for it. It was something they needed and it was convenient that she could do it, but they weren’t budging about the pay. Some people advised her to walk away, because that’s not a quality client. Others thought she should push back and be okay if that meant she wasn’t hired at all. Now, of course, that all depends on the person’s situation. There are times when you might not want to walk away from a job because you need the income. And that’s okay, but I also believe that by doing that, you’re giving someone permission to undervalue you, so I’d exercise caution there and make sure you’re stipulating that you’re making a one-time exception and it won’t be the norm. In this person’s case, since she works the main role at a day rate, I suggested increasing her day rate to include what she’d charge for the additional work. Sometimes with clients it’s a psychological thing and they don’t want to pay when they see a line item but if it’s bundled in with the project, it’s not a big deal. It’s not unusual for someone to increase rates as the economy changes and cost of living increases, so that was something else she could try. Hopefully it works out, but in any case, I’m guessing she’s now looking at that client differently. Maybe it was a quality client but no longer is. Working relationships change just as personal ones do, and sometimes you have to part ways.
When you start working with someone new, be open-minded and optimistic. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Do your research before agreeing to work with them, get references from other vendors if you can, talk to them on the phone or in person to get a sense of who they are and listen to what your instincts say. If you have a bad feeling about them or are seeing too many red flags up front, walk away. If you get a good feeling and start working with them just to find out it’s not a good fit and you don’t want to continue, finish up the project, give them notice, and part ways. Don’t stay in a bad situation longer than you need to. It’s not worth it. But if you’re lucky, that first job will turn into many and you’ll have a long-lasting relationship with the quality client you deserve.
Monday Jul 05, 2021
Brent Mukai: From Creative to Business - the Mental Shift
Monday Jul 05, 2021
Monday Jul 05, 2021
Brent Mukai had a goal to quit his job as soon as he was making enough money to pay the bills doing what he loved. He crushed that goal and is now thriving as a full-time voice actor. In this episode, we discuss how becoming self-employed has changed the way he looks at everything from business to dating and how he's started seeing opportunities instead of obstacles.
We talk about his background in Improv, which he calls his religion, and how it taught him some important lessons about connecting with people. The pandemic gave him the opportunity to revisit his love of Improv by taking classes online at UCB, which led to a scholarship in partnership with SNL to help him progress with his career in comedy.
We talk about the importance of living humbly, accepting failure as part of a success, and that it's okay to leave money on the table sometimes for the sake of your mental health.
Connect with Brent @brentmukai
Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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00:26 All I wanted to do was make enough money to quit my day job and do it full-time. That was all I wanted to do. So the second that I was making just enough money to quit my job I did, because I figured that with all of the extra time I'd have, I wouldn't be in too much trouble if I was already making enough to support myself month by month.
02:55 I grew up very consumer-centric. I guess when I got broke, and in college, and was like, okay, I can't afford anything. I'm just going to not buy anything. That's when it sort of started for me.
05:54 If you're going to try to be self-employed, you have to sacrifice something. And if that something is perhaps you like jewelry, or you like buying a bunch of brand name whatever... it's unnecessary stuff and it's getting in the way of the actual thing that's gonna make you happy, which is being self-employed and going after your dream, right?
09:31 My brain has shifted into like ROI, return on investment, thoughts. Anytime I want to buy something, I'm like, what is the ROI of this? Is this worth that? Is this really going to be something worth it before I buy anything? And that really prevents me from buying a whole lot of stuff.
09:55 Working for myself has changed every single aspect of the way that I look at everything. Working for myself has changed every single aspect of the way that I look at everything. I look at the use of my time so differently now because now, for me, time literally equals money. Because if I'm working and I do more work, or do more auditions, or send more emails, cold emails to marketing and whatever, I can make money. And that, up front, really screwed with me, because it felt like any time that I wasn't working, I was leaving money on the table. And that's absolutely 100% true with any entrepreneur, with anybody. And it's coming to terms and to grips with the fact that no matter what you do, you will always be leaving money on the table.
14:11 As an artist, our goal is to experience and to empathize and to gain as much perspective as possible, I think. I think the goal of any artist on any platform across all boards, I think that is our goal is to have life experiences that change us and shift us and show us different vantage points, and nothing… There is nothing more valuable, in my opinion, than right brain thinkers being able to understand left brain thinking concepts and start adapting them in the exact same ways I think left brain thinkers get adapting and understanding right brain creativity thinking. In a way, that's what I've always sort of presented, so I'm fascinated by both facets of that.
20:11 I think that improv, in the same way business has now shifted the way that I think about a lot of things, improv for me early on, when I was 19, just starting to learn and figure out my own philosophies and my own ways I wanted to move through the world, improv was like my religion. It was like my whole… everything. It really shifted a lot in terms of the ability to listen to people, the ability to empathize, the ability to really stand there and try and connect with another human being. And the deeper that I went into improv, the more I started having these breakthroughs, and having these really life-changing moments that made me say, oh, that's really applicable to my life.
25:59 All you need to deal with and see is what's immediately right in front of you. And the more that you can start thinking in that way, I think the closer you've unlocked to like, some type of Zen-type of thinking.
27:49 Saturday Night Live decided to team up with UCB's diversity scholarship and said we want to have some kind of stake in the people that actually get this scholarship this year. So I was like wow, that's a lot of fun. That would be cool if I really got this. Let me just submit. As it turns out, I got an email saying congratulations, you won! By the end, they basically were like, look, we want this to be a long-term relationship. We want to check in with you, and we want to talk to you. Like, we don't want this to just be some like email correspondence or whatever. We want to actually have some stake in your future in comedy. And I was like, wow, that's incredibly generous.
36.23 I think people need to rethink their relationship with failure. If you really seriously want to get into working for yourself, you have to realize that there is no demerit system in the world of business. You're going to fail, and you just have to accept that, that you have to fail in order to succeed. Any success is only made and comes from the failure that you have. So why even care about it? We're gonna fail all the time. You know, you're gonna probably trip sometime today. You're gonna probably drop your cell phone or whatever. What are you gonna do? Just be like, oh, no, I'm not perfect? No! You got to just pick up your cell phone and keep on going with your day. That’s it.
38:41 My proudest accomplishments include teaching in a high school improv league for 10 years. That was so fulfilling, and so fun and so good, and helped me become a great teacher and understand how to teach. Everything that happens along the journey, to me, is something I'm extremely grateful for. So, like, milestones, sure, there are big milestones. But it's also paved with all of the little steppingstones there. And I value every single one.
44:31 You gotta go relax. I think that there is a serious problem in the idea that, as a creative, we have to be working at all hours of the night or doing whatever, doing all this other stuff. And the, you know, "I'm married to the game." But like, you also got to take some time and just go look at a sunset. You also got to go to a museum every once in a while. You also got to go, you know, just sit down and talk with somebody that's not at all affiliated with your career. I think that's extremely important. Relax, relax. Understand you're always going to be leaving money on the table in some way, shape, or form when you're self-employed. And come to grips with that and just understand your health and your sanity is so much more important.
Monday Jun 28, 2021
Dealing with Different Personalities
Monday Jun 28, 2021
Monday Jun 28, 2021
We can't always control with whom we work, but we can control how to interact with them.
Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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Whether you work for yourself or someone else, you’re bound to encounter a variety of personality types. You don’t always get to choose who else is on your team. If you hire them, sure, but you might be on a crew with a bunch of people your client hired. You might have to communicate with different positions at their company. If something is just a bad fit, that’s one thing, but often the best thing you can do is learn to work with everyone, even if they aren’t necessarily your favorite. You don’t have to like them, but you do have to work together. Here are some things that have worked well for me in my career, where I’ve dealt with all kinds of people.
The hardest, probably, is when you really don’t like someone. Something about their personality rubs you the wrong way. Maybe it’s the way they talk. Everything they say sounds condescending or cocky. Maybe it’s the way they treat others. That’s usually the hardest one for me to accept. Or maybe you feel they don’t do a good job and bring down the team. There are plenty of reasons why you might not like someone, but you still have to work with them. I find it’s best to find something good about them and focus on that. Perhaps they are really good at what they do, or at solving problems, or at motivating others. Find something, anything. If you still can’t, look for a common interest or anything that might help you connect when you have to. Concentrating on all the things you dislike about someone is only going to bring you down.
In other circumstances, you might butt heads with someone. Maybe you’re both Type A personalities and want to be in charge but you have different opinions of which way is best. Both of you should give a little, but neither of you wants to. In those situations, it’s often going to be better for you in the long run to offer a compromise. Not saying you should give in or step down when you’re confident about something, but find a way so the other person can get something he wants and you get something you want. It’s basically a negotiation. For example, if there are two major components to a project, let her take the lead on one and you take the other. As long as you’re both communicating, you can probably find that middle ground.
In other scenarios, you might be an introvert working on a team of extroverts. They always want to meet in person, have group chats, and because they work better in a collaborative environment, they assume you do as well. Or it could be the opposite and you’re the extrovert looking for some energy from a group where everyone else is quietly working alone. Instead of expecting them to know what you need, talk to them. I often explain to people up front things about myself I think will help. Like how after a long day of shooting, if everyone wants to go out to dinner afterwards and I politely decline, it’s not about being antisocial. I need that time to decompress to make sure I’m at my best the next day. My alone time is important. Having that quick conversation up front avoids issues later. It’s not that I feel I have to explain myself, but it helps me when others understand my working style up front so they don’t make the wrong assumptions.
As always, communication is the key to all of this.
Be mindful of the way you say things. If you disagree with the way someone is doing something, don’t start by saying that’s a dumb way to do it. Instead, ask them why in a way that conveys you want to understand, not criticize.
Be open minded. Your way might work for you, but it’s not the only way. It’s not necessarily the best way. Sometimes it is, but there are always opportunities to learn from others. Our brains all work differently, and you never know when someone is going to show you a different way of doing things that will make your life easier.
Be respectful of people’s differences. Everyone has their own way of doing things, and it’s dangerous to start comparing them as better than or worse than your way. The great thing about working with people is that you get all those different perspectives. So allow people to be who they are. This is something my mom said the other day when we were talking about this, because it’s something that’s helped her do really well at her job. Think about that. Let people be who they are. I think that’s good advice for all situations, not just business. You don’t have to try to change someone to help them be better.
Above all, be kind. It’s that simple. There are people out there who think of kindness as a weakness, but those people are missing out. Being nice to people has gotten me far in my career. And it’s not about sucking up. It’s not being disingenuous. It’s about being respectful and helpful.
I’ll never forget the time I asked a client, “Is there anything I can do to make your life easier during this project?” He stopped what he was doing, which is rare, looked puzzled, and said, “I don’t think anyone has ever asked me that before.” That was baffling to me because it’s something I ask people all the time out of consideration. I rely a lot on my observations, which are pretty helpful, but the easiest way to know what someone wants or needs is to ask them. Yet, for some reason, people love to guess instead and then get disappointed when they don’t get it right. I’ve never understood that one.
That’s what a leader does. It’s not about morphing everyone else into you or changing their ways to be more like yours. It’s about embracing everything about who they are and extracting the best. They probably have different strengths than you do, so use that to make yourself better.
Do your best to adapt to their communication style, even if it’s different than yours. This one can be tough, but I find that I have better results when I change my ways instead of expecting others to. I usually ask clients up front how they prefer to communicate – via email, text or phone. I prefer emails, personally, because it fits into my system and makes it easier to track what’s been done and what needs to be done. But some people really hate email and they aren’t going to respond. So if they need to have a phone call, as much as I don’t like to talk on the phone, it’s going to get me what I need faster than waiting on a written response.
The only time I put my foot down is when people want to meet in person, and I don’t believe that’s an efficient way to do things. If it makes sense, sure, but usually I’ll offer a video call as an alternative. I find that in-person meetings are often a waste of time and there are better ways to use my clients’ budgets than paying for my time to drive across town, wait around every time they get another call, and all the chit chat. I like the chit chat when there’s time for it, but when there’s a lot to do and we need to be productive, I can do that better from home. That’s another case where I explain my point of view up front and then it’s not an issue.
There are always going to be those emotional vampires out there. The button pushers who want to get under your skin. The troublemakers who like to start drama. Don’t worry about them. Treat them just like you would anyone else. Being kind to those people, and not playing into their games, takes away the power they think they have, and they’ll usually move on quickly.
Before I started my last job job, the owner of the company told me there was a girl there who would hate me. She’d never met me, so it was an odd thing to say, but she felt she was entitled to my job, so they knew she was automatically going to resent anyone in that position. I saw it from day one. She was judging everything she could, looking for a flaw or something she could use against me. I didn’t add any fuel to her fire. I was nice to her. I took an interest in her. I was maybe even overly kind, even when she gave me attitude. I’d ask about her family and other things she was doing. After a week or two, she completely lost interest and moved on to someone else. We never became friends or anything like that, but we were able to work together peacefully, which is sometimes all you can really expect.
With everyone, figure out how they respond. Do they thrive on praise? Tell them they’re doing a good job, if you believe it. You don’t need to pander to anyone, but maybe their arrogance is actually masking a great deal of insecurity and they just need to be told they’re doing good work. Some people need to know they’re trusted. Be careful not to micromanage those people. Actually, I don’t think anyone really likes being micromanaged. It’s tough sometimes, but you have to empower people to make decisions. You might not always agree with the way they do things, but then you can discuss it and have a productive conversation about how to do things in the future. Others want to feel included, so talk to them about what’s going on. If it’s appropriate, let them join in on meetings, or get their feedback about ideas that might affect them. You never know if they’re sitting on a brilliant idea.
Whether you work for yourself or someone else, you’re inevitably going to have to work with different personality types. Instead of getting frustrated when people don’t do things the same way you do, embrace their differences and take those opportunities to expand your own point of view. You can’t change them, but you can change the way you interact with them.
There is far more power in being adaptable than being right. And if you think about it, in most of the work we’re doing, there really isn’t a right or wrong way to do things. Just different ways. So don’t waste your time worrying about it. Do your best to be productive and keep things moving forward in a positive direction, no matter how many personalities are on your team.
Monday Jun 21, 2021
Finding Clarity When Starting a New Project
Monday Jun 21, 2021
Monday Jun 21, 2021
Reflecting on a year of this podcast, it also made me think about how to find clarity when working on any new project. It often starts with the basics - who, what, when, where, how and why.
Connect with me on your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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It’s officially been a year since the “Business for Self-Employed Creatives” podcast launched. Some of you have been with me since day one, some found it later on, and this might be the first episode you’ve ever heard. No matter what, I appreciate that you’re here. This episode is about reflecting on how I got here, but also about the steps I took and how those can apply to starting any new project.
In 2019, I started The Womanpreneur Podcast with my friend Melissa Moats. We had a proper studio and a team of great people who helped us look and sound our best. Then the pandemic came along in 2020 and complicated things. We tried for a short time to keep going, recording remotely via Zoom like so many others, but neither of us had the time or desire to learn how to do everything ourselves. We decided it was time to retire the podcast.
That decision was the right one, but I also didn’t want to lose the momentum of the podcast. I had wanted to start it as an additional business tool. A way to connect with a new audience and share what I’ve learned throughout my career in hopes of helping others. I had a lot of fun chatting with Melissa every week, but I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to manage two brands. I found myself prioritizing that podcast because it involved someone else. Meanwhile, I wasn’t doing anything to help Aardvark Girl.
With the extra time on my hands from production being shut down, I put my focus back on my own brand and pulled out the list of projects I’d been wanting to work on but never seemed to find time for. I saw that a lot of people were struggling, not knowing what to do because of what was happening in the world. During lockdown, I offered free business coaching for anyone who needed it. I helped people navigate the loan options that were available to them. I helped them figure out ways to be more productive with their time. I helped them brainstorm new ways to make money since the old ways were unavailable. It reminded me why I wanted to start my business in the first place – to help others in their businesses.
At the same time, I had been working with Tansy Aster Creative to redesign my website and found more clarity about what I wanted to be doing. I decided I should still do a podcast, but one that was a true extension of my brand. It would be a way to offer the same type of help I was giving my coaching clients, but making it accessible to anyone who wanted to listen for free.
I had a lot to figure out since I knew I would be doing this by myself. Fortunately, I have a lot of practice doing things by myself. And this was essentially like starting any new project, so I approached it with that framework in mind.
It’s always good to start with the basics. Can you answer the standard six questions – who, what, when, where, how and why?
The who was pretty easy for me to identify. For simplicity, I would be the only host. I would continue doing interviews because I really enjoy those conversations and think it’s important to offer different points of view because we can all find success in different ways. The target audience would be the same one I had already carved out for my consulting business. I was focused on single person, or very small, businesses because I felt I could make the most difference there. The bigger the business, the more complicated solutions become, and there are plenty of people out there for that. I want to help those creative individuals who were doing their own thing but didn’t know how to balance their talent with running a business. So self-employed creatives became my niche. And, in taking a note from Melissa and her husband who always said it’s best to name a business what it is, that’s what I called the podcast. It was simple and made it clear in the title what it was about.
The what was the podcast itself. I decided on the format pretty early on. I would mix short solo episodes with longer interviews. As much as I’d love to do interviews every episode, those take a lot more time, and I wanted to make sure I was being practical about what I could accomplish. In addition, business owners are busy and creatives don’t always have the longest attention spans, so it made sense to keep most of the episodes short and to the point.
The when was dictated by the end of the Womanpreneur Podcast. I wanted to be able to transition seamlessly from one to another so I could do my best to retain our audience. We had our last episode scheduled for the end of May, so I set June 1st as my launch date. I think it’s good to set a target date for any project because that gives you a timeline to work towards. It makes it easier to complete than leaving it open ended and saying I’ll start when I’m ready, because most of us then find excuses to delay.
The where for recording was going to be my house. We were in the middle of a lockdown so there wouldn’t have been another option anyway, but that was the most practical. I don’t have a home studio or even a space that would make sense to convert into a proper studio, but I knew I could figure out a way to make it work. It might not be perfect, but with all shows being suddenly forced to do things remotely, people were being more forgiving about sound and not expecting absolute perfection. As for where it would be published, I stuck with Podbean, the same host we used for the other podcast, because I was already familiar with it and knew I could upload there and push to all the standard platforms.
The how was the trickiest because I didn’t have anything I needed to do a podcast. I knew I needed to make the investment in some equipment and software to make the quality acceptable. I did a lot of research, consulted with experts, and tried different things. That part of it continues to evolve. I used the time as an opportunity to learn new skills. I quickly figured out that I don’t love doing audio work, but it’s a necessary evil with podcasting. But I also figured out that I would have to outsource my interview episodes. Mixing two separate audio tracks is not my forte, and with so many people recording from less than ideal spaces using less than ideal equipment, I wanted a pro who could keep everyone sounding as good as possible. Fortunately, my brother does this professionally through his company Tansy Aster Creative (sound familiar? They’ve become my go-to for a lot of my business needs), so figuring out who to trust with it was easy.
I’ve already talked about the why. The podcast was created to help people. It is a way to offer free value to others while also giving another platform for people to understand who I am before they decide to work with me. I think it’s important to give without the expectation of anything in return. So even though my podcast has led to some new clients, that’s more of a bonus than the reason.
Understanding the answers to those basic questions is always a good place to start with a new project. You want to be clear about what you are doing before you start doing it. You may change your mind along the way, but it’s best to have at least a basic roadmap figured out before you start driving.
As I set on my path, I started working on all the behind-the-scenes stuff. Getting equipment, figuring out how to use it, defining topics, lining up guests, and recording episodes. It took a large investment of time and money to get started, but I was ready to go. I had this whole big launch planned for June 1st, but there ended up being some far more significant things happening in America that week and it didn’t feel right to talk about my podcast. So it was a quiet launch and I never really did a proper push, which was my own fault. Self-promotion isn’t exactly my strength.
Throughout this process, I’ve made a couple significant observations that also could apply to any project.
First, passion projects are called passion projects for a reason. You have to really want to do it. This podcast costs me a lot of time and money. It’s important to me, though, because the reasons why I started it still exist. Sometimes it’s stressful finding the time to keep up and I’ve thought about taking a break, but I believe consistency is important so I push through and haven’t missed a publishing date yet. I didn’t think it would be an issue since I launched when I wasn’t really working, but I haven’t had a slow period since mid-June of 2020. Oddly enough, 2020 was my busiest year ever and 2021 is definitely going to beat that record. I’m super grateful, but have definitely been feeling the pressure from all of it, all of which is self-imposed.
Eventually, I do want to monetize so I can actually get some money to help pay for my costs and to improve the podcast, but I’m torn on the best way to do that without the traditional annoying ads. I would love to get some sponsors and possibly set up a Patreon or similar account, but I haven’t figured all of that out yet. Having some income from the podcast would allow me to hire more people to help with marketing, PR to get higher profile guests, and things like that. So it’s not about making more money for me, it’s about investing back into the podcast to make it a better show for you.
The observation, though, is one I’ve made in other times of my life as well. You make time for what’s important to you. It doesn’t matter what you have going on or how busy you are, if it’s important to you, you will make the time to show up. That’s why I show up here every Monday with a new episode. And I plan on continuing to do that indefinitely. Who knows where the next year will take us. But thank you for being here now and I hope you’ll stay with me as this journey continues.
Monday Jun 14, 2021
Jaimee Finney: Untitled
Monday Jun 14, 2021
Monday Jun 14, 2021
Jaimee Finney is a lot of things - a designer, a writer, a speaker, a coach, a mom, and so much more. She's the co-founder and CEO of Picture This Clothing, a company that turns your art into clothing. She's always experimenting her way into new ideas about what she wants to do.
In this episode, we talk about how hard it is to answer the question "What do you do?" when you do so many things. And how trying to simplify it into a definition others understand can place unnecessary limitations on your abilities.
We discuss our belief in optimism and how it's not just about looking on the bright side, but an active practice in finding the good in life. Even through the pandemic and a series of heavy personal events, she focused on the positive and came through stronger than before. One of her greatest strengths is her ability to help others understand the tools they already have within them and organize them in a useful manner.
Her biggest piece of advice is to not put all your eggs in one basket. Having side gigs and other sources of income, along with doing different types of work, are what have given her the freedom to choose what she wants to do. So while some might say, "you do too many things," we believe that allows us to create new opportunities we wouldn't have if we stayed in one bucket.
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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
Connect with Jaimee @jaimeejaimee and @picturethisclothing
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00:45 If you can endure a three-day road trip with someone, you know it's good. You could work together.
03:20 You look at Walt Disney, and you look at Jim Henson, and the vision they had, and how much resistance they got for their ideas early on. But they found a way. They had a dream. They had an idea. They had passion, and joy, and fun, and playfulness, and they brought that to the world in a huge way. And I just think that's hugely inspiring.
06:41 I feel like I have a lot of ideas, and things I want to try, and things I want to make. We're always trying things. We always have ideas, and so getting them out of our head and into the real world is just a practice for us. It's a life. It's who we are.
What is it that's pulling your focus? So if it's pulling your focus, see it through, finish it up, and throw it out in the world and see what happens. That's how our business, Picture This Clothing, was born. It was a proof of concept.
09:14 What I started doing was figuring out how to just do. Do things, but not just start, actually finish. And so what I learned through that process, a couple of years’ worth of trying sprints and basically applying the product design process to my life, is something that I call Tiny Challenges, and it's kind of a silly little thing. But basically, you define a small window of time - it can be five days, seven days, ten days, whatever, one month - but do something very small for that amount of time. It's always a part of a bigger goal. You break it down into a really small manageable pieces, and you chip away at it slowly over time. You'll look back and go, oh my gosh, I just made like a 30-day body of work. That's huge. That's progress.
12:09 I’m a great collector of domain names and lost ideas. Something that I really learned over time is, just get this small nugget of the idea, enough to get the idea out, enough for it to be good enough quality for people to understand what you're doing, what it is, and how to work with it, how it's intended to be engaged with, with quality and thought. But don't dump every dime into your idea until you know it's worth it.
14:26 You ask if there's a process. I think having an idea, writing stuff down. Because you may get started on it and then get distracted in 1000 different ways, and actually come back to the idea. I think documenting your ideas is really important.
15:14 I think having a product, you depend on different things and different bodies of knowledge. I've done service providing as well, where I was coaching, where I was teaching, where I was doing workshops and conferences, and all of that. And the biggest difference for me is we have something that we have to physically ship to a person.
19:14 I don't think we're a clothing store at all. First of all, we're an experience. And so, just in case people are unfamiliar with what Picture This Clothing is, you print out a coloring sheet of a dress, a T-shirt, we have beanies, face coverings, and then we have leggings as well. So we have a few products, and you print out the coloring sheet. You design it any way you want. You upload a smartphone photo to our website. We send it back ready to wear. And that's what Picture This Clothing is. And so it's all about that design experience that you have at home. And it always was that, even before the pandemic.
26:38 It always drives me crazy when people shut it down without thinking of the bigger possibility, or the bigger vision.
30:09 People love experimenting, and playing, and sharing their own ideas and their own imagination, creativity, and we all talk about it and try things. And so that part's really cool.
33:43 Something that we've always done, but that really played well with the pandemic, was not having all our eggs in one basket. And I think as a self-employed sort of person, that's something I learned many, many, many years ago. Even if I had a full-time job, I was usually freelancing, designing websites for people or logos or whatever, on the side. I almost always had side gigs. And so even now, even though Picture This Clothing is the thing that requires most of my attention, I still have another business on the side. Ken still has another business on the side. So we have other things bringing in income. Don't rely on just one source of income at any time, if you can help it.
38:02 It's a struggle when people go, “What do you do?” to answer that. I do a lot of stuff and I hate being dropped into a bucket. Like, I am a writer, I am a designer, I am a CEO, I also do our books and our finances and I can do strategy. I am a social media person. And we wear a lot of hats when we're self-employed, do we not?
I remember trying to simplify and say I'm a designer, but then it completely undermines my abilities. I am, in many capacities, a designer, but I am also much more than that, and I know that. And I think I'm limiting myself and holding myself back by simply trying to slap the label on so that people understand. And then I'm getting work that I don't want. And I'm like, No, this isn't what I meant. This isn't… No, this is an ill fit. And it’s my own doing, but untitled. I'm untitled.
43:34 I've been just really rethinking my own branding, and my personal brand, and what am I? How do I describe who I am and what I am? What do I really want to be doing? You know, people always ask that question, "If you had a million dollars, and you could do anything that you wanted..." Well, I'm not saying that I have a million dollars, but I'm saying I can do anything that I want to do. And I've put myself in a position where I've worked hard enough and that I can decide that I want to do this, or I want to do that. And I'm trying to decide what is it exactly that I do want to do for a while? And I never know. I've never had the answer. And I kind of just end up where I end up, and I do what I do until I don't want to do it anymore. And then I start experimenting my way into something else. And so that's where I'm at.
47:07 I've worked really hard to be able to make that a part of my life. And I'll keep working really hard. Like I love working on things I love working on. I just want to keep that freedom, you know? I want to keep that freedom because that's everything to me.
47:49 I don't know that I can prevent any burnout from ever happening again. But I know that I have the tools to survive, overcome and be resilient. That's what I'm really good at in my own life. I practice this regularly. And I find myself up against the wall regularly and needing to put those tools into practice. But I do feel like I always come out on the other side, and I'm okay. And I'm still going, I'm still fighting. And I think that there's just if there's anything I can do to help people understand their own toolset and how to apply it to get themselves on the bright side, that's probably one of my greatest strengths, and what I hope to be able to give to people. I believe that everybody has those tools within them already. It's just really discovering them and organizing them in a way that that's useful.
51:17 I know there's so much more to it than just looking on the bright side. I am not naive to this and not impossibly optimistic even, but I am a hardcore believer in optimism. It's a part of my soul. It's a part of who I am. And I can't help but to keep moving forward with hope. I will tell you that it's not easy at all times to do that. It takes practice and it takes thoughtful focus, dedication to mindfully choosing, like, what's good today. What's something good that happened?
52:11 Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I just think that's really helped me not get stuck. It keeps my options open and keeps my freedom as my underlying… and when I say freedom, my ability to choose. My ability to not have to go work for someone else unless I choose to. I hope I can always retain that. But I think having five or six little baskets with eggs in them has given me that freedom.