Helping business owners, freelancers & other self-employed creatives succeed… and have fun doing it. It can be overwhelming at times, but there’s nothing like the privilege of working for yourself – making your own rules, owning your time, and trusting your instincts to make the right decisions. With short episodes that get straight to the point, this podcast is about the common issues we face in business, along with solutions that work for other creatives like you. Aardvark Girl is a producer, project manager & business specialist with 20+ years of experience managing companies & helping people in creative industries. She helps you get a handle on the business side of things so you can focus on your talent. Let's get to work!
Episodes
Monday Nov 30, 2020
Digital Decluttering
Monday Nov 30, 2020
Monday Nov 30, 2020
Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
There has been a big trend in the last few years with decluttering. Suddenly organization has become trendy, which is something I’m not mad about at all. Shows on Netflix like “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” and “The Home Edit” have inspired many people to look at all their stuff and find better ways to put it away or display it. With more people at home during the pandemic, we’ve heard a lot about garages, pantries, and closets getting cleared out, organized, and looking better than ever. I’ve never heard so many people excited about spring cleaning.
But what we don’t hear about is digital clutter. All those desktop icons, random files, and “miscellaneous” folders you plan on going through soon but never get around to. Trying to remember where you put a document because it’s not where you think it should be and you can’t remember the exact name to search. That nagging thought in the back of your mind that you really should back up your computer, but you never seem to think about it when you actually have time to do it.
Digital clutter can have the same negative effects as physical clutter, especially when you’re trying to get your work done. It can be distracting, slow down your productivity, and drain you of your energy. The problem is, once you close your laptop or turn off your computer, you don’t see it anymore. It doesn’t take up space the same way as too many clothes in a closet or a bunch of unlabeled bins in the garage, so it’s easier to ignore. But it can take up a lot of time if you can’t easily find the files you need throughout the day. I know I’ve mentioned how I feel about notifications and how just seeing that little red circle can irritate me. I’m the same way with a busy desktop on a computer. When I see someone working and there are folders and files all over, especially when they’re not even in alignment, all I can do is wonder how they function.
Some people will say they actually function better in chaos. That things might be messy, but they know where everything is within the mess. And I’m sure that can be true to some degree, but that’s more of a band aid than a solution. It’s like taking the giant pile of receipts and other documents and sticking them all inside of a drawer rather than filing them where they belong. Sure, then you don’t have to see the clutter, but somewhere inside you still know it’s there. And yes, I say this from experience. I used to do it all the time because, for whatever reason, I really don’t like filing. I don’t have to do it much, it’s not hard, it doesn’t even take very long. I just don’t like it. But, I also can’t handle stacks of papers and other things on my desk while I work. So I have to keep up with it, whether I like it or not. We all have our things.
The best way to digitally declutter is to put a system in place and follow it. Make it part of your workflow so it becomes a habit you don’t even have to think about anymore. The worst thing is to say, “I don’t have time to do that right now,” and put it off and then by the time you get around to it you have so many files it’s going to take you significantly longer to do. Remember my 5-minute rule – if it’s going to take less than 5 minutes, do it now. Naming a file or creating an email folder shouldn’t take more than a few seconds, and you’ll be glad you got it out of the way.
The trick is to figure out a process that works for your brain so it’s easy to follow and maintain. It has to make sense to you or you won’t keep up with it. The easiest and greatest system in the world for one person might be incredibly confusing to someone else. So keep that in mind, whether you’re listening to this, reading a blog about a similar topic, or actively searching online for the “best” solution. Getting ideas can be helpful to get started, but chances are no one else out there is going to do things in the exact way that’s perfect for you. And you don’t want to spend so much time searching that you don’t get anything accomplished. I’ve been there plenty of times and it’s not a good place to be!
That being said, I’ll take you through some of my digital organization systems to give you an idea of what I’m talking about. Starting with the most important part of my business, my clients. Without them, I don’t have any work, so that’s why they are priority.
I have a “Clients” folder that lives within my documents and is linked under my favorites so I can access it easily. Within that folder, everything is separated by year. That helps me keep track of specific jobs better. I don’t want one giant folder with everything I’ve ever done because that’s just more clutter! I’ll talk about archiving later, but I generally keep the current year plus the two previous years on my computer because, in my line of work, I do have to refer back to older jobs fairly often so it’s easier to keep those files accessible to be safe.
Within each year, each client has its own folder, which is labeled simply as the name of the company or person. Inside of that, each project gets its own folder, and everything related to it goes in there. Sometime that folder will get organized further, depending on what is needed. Like for a production, I’ll have folders for receipts, releases, permits, internal procedures, and those kinds of things. It all depends on what makes sense for each project.
Each file is named specifically as well. You won’t ever find IMG_3568.jpg or a series of jumbled letters and numbers for the name of a PDF I downloaded on my computer. As soon as I download something, I name it what it is. I have a system for this, too. I’m sure you’re not surprised. It’s usually something along the lines of CLIENT_Date_Description. As an example, a handout I created for a workshop I teach at the Voice Actors Studio is labeled TVAS_091020_BookkeepingBasics. One note here, I give each client a 3- or 4-letter code so I’m not ending up with ridiculously long filenames. Do you know why? Because that looks like more clutter to me.
Basically the idea is that everything says exactly what it is. In theory, anyone could intuitively understand how my system works. Meaning you might not have any idea what I do, but if I give you my laptop and ask you to find a FedEx receipt for a shipment related to job X in 2019, it wouldn’t take you very long because of the way it’s all organized. Consistency is important with everything, and this is no exception. If you structure everything the same way, you don’t even have to think about those little things anymore.
This naming convention also helps if I need to search for a file on my computer. That’s why I include the client or vendor code in the filename, too. In some cases, I’m working with the same file types for a lot of different companies. I’ll use W9s as an example, because I have a lot of those. Say I need to find a W9 for Person A and it’s not where I think it should be, but I know I have it. I can do a search for W9 and find it easily because the person’s name is right there. But if I labeled each one with just W9 because it’s in a folder that says that person’s name already, doing that search would present several files and I’d have to open each one to see if it’s the right one. Not efficient.
I use this exact same method for managing emails as well. I briefly mentioned this in the episode where I talked about how I accidentally deleted all of my inboxes. Fortunately, when that happened, this system is what saved me and made what could’ve been a complete disaster nothing more than a funny story. My inbox is my to-do list, and once something is done, it gets filed into a folder. It’s organized by year, by client, by project, and whatever specifics apply to that job. The only things I delete entirely are things I know for certain I will never need again, like a Zoom invitation or the 23 people responding “Thanks!” to a group email. Everything else gets filed in case I need to reference it again at some point in the future. This has been beyond helpful in many situations.
Digital organization is important beyond my client work as well. This podcast is a perfect example. I have a podcast folder and inside that, each episode has its own folder. Within that is another folder for the various assets, which are the audio & video recordings, images, graphics, my intro, and all that fun stuff. The only files I put into the main folder for each episode are the finished pieces – the MP3 file of the podcast, the video file (if there is one), the image graphic, and the transcript. I also have a master spreadsheet, color-coded of course, to help me keep track of each step of each episode. I have tabs on that sheet for planning, content, topic ideas, potential guests, and more. I like spreadsheets because I can keep everything in one file. Less clutter. It’s a pattern, see?
Decluttering isn’t just about getting a clean desktop or being able to search for files, though. It’s also about record-keeping and taking care of your business. When you’re organized, you don’t waste time looking for things or trying to figure out what happened 3 years ago when a client has a question. You might think you don’t need to know anything that far back, and that might be true most of the time, but I’ve been called some names by my clients. Magical. Superhero. Things like that. I’ve been able to find details that seem impossible solely because of my process.
I’ve mentioned that I was a project manager for the 2016 Presidential Debate in Las Vegas. I worked on that event for 9 months. It involved a lot of people and a lot of details. It was changing constantly. I was in charge of the budget and had to show the numbers in so many different ways - detailed, simplified, a pie chart, categorizing information in multiple ways, and how it evolved from one version to the next. There is no way I could remember all of that stuff years later. But, in 2019, that client was trying to find out a specific piece of information – on what date the debate had decided to eliminate the option of a third party candidate. They had been trying to figure it out internally without much success, so they called me. It only took me a few minutes – I got the hard drive, plugged it in, opened my client folder, and because of how my files were organized, I was able to pinpoint it to a period of 4 days that the decision was made. Not magic. Just organization.
I also have a system for my invoices and payments beyond my actual accounting software. Yes, everything lives in Quickbooks. But what if something happens to Quickbooks? You can never be too cautious with your business. So I keep digital copies of client invoices and payments. If I receive a check, I scan it and add it to the invoice PDF so there’s an easy reference of what it was and how it was paid. I have PDFs of every expense receipt, whether it was emailed, downloaded, or a scanned paper receipt, all labeled by date, vendor & purpose. I rarely need those files, but it’s a matter of having a backup for those “just in case” moments.
Speaking of backups. That’s an important part of digital decluttering as well. It’s not just about having important files in multiple places in case a hard drive dies, although that’s pretty important. If you’ve ever had a hard drive quit on you, I’m sure you know how devastating it can be if you can’t recover something. Sometimes they can be repaired, but it can be costly and there’s never a guarantee. So having copies somewhere is good for peace of mind.
Here’s what my backup system entails. My devices are all set to automatically back up. My phone & tablet go to the cloud and my computers use Time Machine so everything is backed up to an external hard drive every hour without me having to do anything. Beyond that, I save important files to separate external hard drives every month. And I use another cloud service for additional storage of certain things. Is it redundant? Yes. Do I care? No. I would rather be overly cautious than not cautious enough.
These extra drives aren’t just for backups, though. They’re also for archiving files I no longer want to keep on my computer at all. Just like you probably function better when you have clean space around you, so do your machines. If you are using most of your storage, they have to work harder and it can slow down everything you do. So it’s helpful to get stuff off of there if you can. Like I said earlier, I usually keep the current year plus the previous 2 years’ files on my computer. Older years have been archived onto external hard drives so I still have everything, but it isn’t slowing down anything I’m doing currently. The biggest files I’m working with are related to this podcast, so each month I archive the episodes that have been published. It’s part of my routine that helps me stay uncluttered.
I got a new iMac earlier this year. The one I had was about 9 years old and not very robust. It had been fine for what I was doing, but it became clear that because I’m working with more video & audio files, I needed an upgrade. Typically, when I get a new computer, I copy everything from one to the other. But I realized I’ve been doing this for so long, there’s a good chance there was plenty of stuff on there I didn’t actually need, and I didn’t want to bring that onto the new one, so I started from scratch. My brother gave me some good advice about only storing documents and small files on the computer’s main hard drive and keeping the larger files on external hard drives. Back in the day, that could get pretty clunky, but hard drives are so tiny and cute now, it’s easy to have some 2TB SSD drives connected for all that stuff. So between the new, more powerful, less cluttered computer, & my upgraded Internet, I’m so much more efficient than I was when I started. A video that used to take me an hour to upload now goes up in minutes. So there’s something to be said about making an investment in new equipment. Sometimes we hold off because we don’t want to spend the money, but we don’t realize how much time it’s costing us. Something to think about.
Digital decluttering might not be the most exciting topic. I get it. But maybe we can find the same joy in tidying up our machines as we do organizing a pantry. I apply the ideas I’ve talked about here to every document, spreadsheet, photo, and anything else that lives digitally on my machines. It helps me stay focused on what I need to do without wasting time figuring out where things are. I have been told I’m too organized. And I’m okay with that. I love having a place for everything. I love a good color-coded spreadsheet. This is what works for me and keeps my brain happy. Find what works for you and get rid of that digital clutter. You might not be able to show it off in a pretty picture, but you’ll still feel good inside.
Monday Nov 23, 2020
Communication: Details Are There for a Reason
Monday Nov 23, 2020
Monday Nov 23, 2020
We all know how important communication is in business, but we can easily get overwhelmed by the amount of communication we get. But remember that the details are there for a reason, so instead of rushing through and potentially missing them, slow down and pay attention so you don't end up creating extra work for yourself or the others with whom you're working. Nobody wants that!
Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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I’m guessing we’ve all been in this scenario. You send an email to a client with some questions. He responds, but doesn’t answer everything, so you have to follow up with a reminder about the other missing information. Or you send an email giving someone two choices – would you rather do A or B? And she responds, “Yes.” So you have to reply asking which option she’s saying yes to. How about when you put all the details for a project into an email. You take the time to make it clean and organized so someone can reference it for everything they need. And then you get a text that says what time is this thing? And it’s the first thing on the list you sent. Eventually you end up wondering why you even bother spending your time crafting thoughtful emails when they’re just going to get ignored anyway.
I don’t know about you, but I find this incredibly frustrating. Most of the time, waiting for these answers slows everything down and you know that if they would’ve just answered in the first email, you could’ve both moved on and saved time. And we all know how important time is. But the extra back and forth actually creates more work for both of you. I don’t know anyone who wants more emails in their inbox. Most of us are trying to get rid of them.
Now, I’m not talking about when someone asks, “How are you?” or some other small talk question that doesn’t necessarily need to be answered. I’ve mentioned how I feel about that before, and if it’s in an email I’m not going to answer it unless it’s somehow relevant to the job. I also don’t mean when someone writes a novel and you genuinely don’t have time to read through everything. But even then, rather than giving a half-hearted response that makes it obvious you didn’t read it all, I think the right thing to do is to say something like, “There’s a lot of information here and I don’t have time to give it my proper attention today, but I will get back to you when I’m able. If there is anything pressing, please send the specifics to me separately.” That way you’re acknowledging that you’ve seen the message and managing their expectations about when they’ll hear back from you. It’s also a less offensive way of saying, “Hey, this email is way too long.”
I just did that today. I got an email from someone who wants to be a guest on the podcast and he sent me a ton of links to his bio, his podcast, interviews he’s done on other podcasts, and more. I don’t have time to research him yet so I sent a quick note saying, “I’m in the middle of a project so I might not be able to get back to you for a few weeks, but wanted to let you know I received it. Thank you for reaching out.” That took less than a minute to write and it accomplished two things – it showed that I respect the time he took to send me his pitch, and it spared me from receiving more follow-up messages asking if I had received his email or if I had any questions. And that was someone I don’t even know. But that’s how I treat everyone, whether it’s a client, a vendor, a friend… everyone gets the same level of respect because that’s important to me.
The details are there for a reason. If we’re asking, it’s likely because we need the answer to do our jobs properly. Most of us don’t waste our time putting frivolous questions in our clients’ inboxes. And if you do, stop. That’s not okay, unless it’s a humorous meme of some sort or something that will make someone laugh. Everyone needs that every now and then. But if you get an email, remember that someone took the time to write it for a specific purpose. So pay attention! You might have a deadline looming and you don’t want any distractions. You could be juggling a hundred different things and don’t realize that you’re not focusing on anything. But rushing through an answer and missing the important parts of a message isn’t good for anyone, yourself included. If you think you’re soooo busy and only have time to scan it, remember that if you miss something, you’re going to end up with another email to read. So take the time up front, read it carefully, and make it easier for everyone. Especially if the other person is trying to help you and your business succeed. Get out of your own way!
This is one of my tough love assertions that people sometimes don’t want to hear. And here’s my disclaimer: I know this isn’t always the case. I think it’s rarely the intention. But have you considered what message you’re sending when you don’t pay attention to the details someone took the time to send you? You’re basically saying that your time is more important than theirs. Now, before you get defensive, think about it. You’re not respecting the time they took on their end by giving the time on yours. You might not think about it in that way, but they might receive it that way. It’s important to remember that your time isn’t more important than anyone else’s, regardless of whether you’re paying them, they’re paying you, or any other reason.
We can consider this as it applies to working with clients, vendors, team members, and anyone else you are communicating with.
If you’re the client, you’ve hired someone to do a job for you. That person most likely needs information from you to do what she needs do. So she’s going to ask you questions, and your answers are what allow her to move forward and deliver what you need. So if you only give her bits and pieces, you’re holding up HER progress to meet YOUR deadline. And let’s not forget, she probably has other clients, too. And even though you want to feel like you’re the most important, imagine what it’s like when everyone is missing details and creating extra work for her. It’s no surprise freelancers have to deal with burnout all the time.
If you’re the vendor, your client has hired you to do a job for him. He is going to send you the information you need so you can do what you need to do. If you then ask a question, when the answer is in the initial email, it’s going to be frustrating for him because now he has to repeat himself. He might think that he’s paying you to make his life easier, not to create more work for him because you aren’t paying attention. There’s a reason that “attention to detail” is something a lot of people like to list on their résumés. It’s an important skill in business. Let’s not forget to use it!
If you’re on a team or otherwise collaborating with others, the same concepts apply. One person missing a detail can interfere with everyone else’s progress. You never want to be the one in the group slowing everyone down.
Look, nobody is perfect. We’ve all missed things in emails because we’re trying to get through them quickly so we can move on to one of the other many things we have to do in that moment. I know I’ve done it before, and I always feel badly when it happens. The idea is not to achieve perfection, but to be cognizant of how our actions affect others and their ability to do their work. And sometimes our own inattention to detail can delay things for us, too.
This reminds me of a discussion a bunch of us had last year about voicemail and how some people don’t use it anymore. I get that technology has changed the way we communicate and the younger generation especially finds voicemail to be tedious. They prefer texting or apps. And that’s fine – to some degree, we all need to be able to adapt or we’ll get left behind. I don’t particularly love voicemail either, but it serves its purpose. I don’t answer my phone if I don’t recognize a number, so leaving a message is the best way to let me know you’re a real person and not a spam call or wrong number. And it lets me know why you’re calling, so I can get back to you with the answers. And then I know if something is urgent or if it can wait until later. So if you took the time to leave me a voicemail, I will listen to it.
In this conversation, the argument against voicemail was that it was an outdated method of communication and people should just text. But then some people weighed in that they don’t like getting texts from people they don’t know, or for work-related things. Like with everything, we all have our own preferences so it’s not to say that one is right or wrong, just different. But I remember a client saying that if he takes the time to leave details in a voicemail, and then the person calls back without having listened to the message, he gets really irritated because now he has to repeat everything he already said in the voicemail. So he feels that his time isn’t being respected and that’s a red flag for him wanting to continue working with that person. That might seem like a bit of an overreaction, but I kind of get it. I think the solution there is pretty simple – if you are the type who won’t listen to voicemails, disable your phone from accepting them. Then you won’t have to deal with them and no one can get frustrated about you ignoring them. Simple.
With one caveat. At the same time as this discussion was taking place, I was hiring a fairly large crew for a production job in another state. Since it was in a location where I didn’t know anyone personally, I was having to essentially cold call people from the local film directory. It was pretty time sensitive and one of those situations where whoever was available first would get each position. The number of people I called who didn’t have voicemail, or had voicemails that were full, was surprising to me. I had no way to leave a message. I didn’t have an email address. And I didn’t feel texting was appropriate at the time. So a lot of people lost out on the opportunity to work a cool job at a good rate because they “don’t do” voicemail. So it’s something to consider from a business perspective if you want to be stubborn about your preferences or be a little more flexible.
Communication is so important in everything we do. We hear it all the time. It’s a necessary skill in business but also in life in general. The majority of the work we are all doing involves people and we have to be able to communicate with those people effectively.
I like to consider myself to be a conscientious communicator. I’m a big fan of brevity in business emails. I can be wordy because I like to offer explanations, so I often start with something that’s way too long. I get my thoughts out first, but then I edit before I send. I consider my client and what details they actually need, and I get rid of everything else. There’s a time and place for chit-chat, and business emails usually are not part of that. Sometimes there’s no way around a longer email because something requires a lot of detail. But usually I will send it all and include a note at the bottom that if it’s easier to chat through everything on the phone, feel free to call. I find that the email is helpful because it gives everyone a chance to review everything before speaking instead of throwing a bunch of stuff at someone when they’re not prepared. Plus, then it’s there to reference later, which is something that is often needed.
But when your style is different than someone else’s, what is the best solution? Communicate about communication! Seriously. When I’m working with someone new, I ask them if they prefer email, text, or phone. That doesn’t mean I’m always going to accommodate their preferences if they contradict my own, but it’s helpful to know that ahead of time and to make concessions when it’s important.
For example, if you prefer email and hate the phone, but your client hates email and prefers the phone, chances are you’re going to get annoyed waiting for responses if you email them. But if you just called, you could get the information you need and you’ll both be happy because you can move on. You can always follow up with an email confirming the details you discussed so you have record of it – I recommend doing this because it’s too easy for information to get lost on calls and via text.
I’ve also had conversations with clients about email etiquette. There are a lot of people out there who want emails to sound personal and friendly and so they fill them with long greetings and, for lack of better words, fluff before getting to the point. I won’t do that. I’m busy, my clients are busy, so I get right down to business. But every now and then I find myself explaining to someone that I’m not doing it to be cold or unfriendly, but to be mindful of everyone’s time. I save the friendly chats for later. I find that most people I’m working with appreciate that.
I also have one client who has flat out told me she can only deal with 3 things in an email. If it’s more than that, she’s not going to read it for a while. And that’s really helpful to know because if there are a lot of things pressing, I can prioritize the top 3 and send those first. Because we’ve had that communication, it eliminates the frustration that could come about otherwise.
In general, if you do have to include a lot of details in an email, make it simple for the other person to read. Use bullet points, spacing, bold font, underlines, whatever you can do to make it easier to digest, comprehend, and respond. Sometimes people see a lot of words in a big block and they instantly check out, so do what you can to avoid that. I can’t even tell you how many of my clients have commented on how helpful little things like bullet points have been in our communications.
Remember, the details are there for a reason. Slow down, pay attention, and help make sure everyone has the information they need to do a great job.
Monday Nov 16, 2020
Claire Hart: Photography & Southern Hospitality
Monday Nov 16, 2020
Monday Nov 16, 2020
Claire Hart is a a high-energy, fun-spirited photographer who can make anyone look good. In this episode, we're talking about why she loves her job, how she uses her Southern hospitality to put people at ease, building relationships with clients, what she's been doing during the pandemic, and more!
00:38 How Claire went from a degree in nuclear medicine to a career in photography
05:31 Shifting from "just a photographer" or "just a freelancer" to the mindset of a business owner
08:21 Staying relevant when cell phones make everyone feel like they're a pro photographer
11:12 Enjoying the moment instead of staring through a screen all the time
13:26 Using Southern charm to make people feel at ease
16:23 Engaging a crowd
21:12 Claire's favorite types of photography
27:08 Using vacations to expand a client base, but also remembering to put the camera away so she can look through her own eyes
30:43 Adapting to shoots during COVID, and using down time during the pandemic to work on personal projects
36:01 Claire's advice for other self-employed creatives
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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
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Connect with Claire
Monday Nov 09, 2020
Money Tip: Budget isn't a Bad Word
Monday Nov 09, 2020
Monday Nov 09, 2020
When you hear the word budget, do you cringe? Does it make you want to run away? It seems the typical response, especially in the creative world, is a negative one. People associate budget with restriction. Or tedious scrutiny of everything you do wrapped up in a boring spreadsheet. Or rules. And we know how we all feel about rules. We got into business for ourselves so we could create them, not follow them.
But budget doesn’t have to be a bad word.
00:54 The real reason for having a budget is so you know where your money is going and can use that information to make a game plan of what you can and should do.
01:17 When you own your business, you generally don’t know exactly how much you’ll make at any given time, so you have to do reverse budgeting.
01:59 The first step is to figure out what your minimum number (break-even) number is. Personal and business accounting software will make this easier.
03:16 It's best to have a full year’s worth of information to form a proper budget because of the monthly fluctuation. Knowing those cycles can really help.
04:33 Start with your regular expenses - your mortgage or rent, car payment or any other debts, utilities, cable, Internet, monthly subscriptions, groceries, dining out, coffee trips, entertainment, clothing, household expenses, and all that other fun stuff. What is your realistic minimum you can spend each month for the necessities?
05:29 Saving is a necessity! Your budget should include money put aside for taxes, emergencies, and retirement. I always recommend saving a percentage of your income versus a flat amount each month. This helps with that fluctuation, because you’re putting more aside when you’re busy and that will help cover you when you’re slow.
07:23 From there, you can start figuring out your tiers. So after the necessities are covered, where would you spend your money next? Pay off more of your debt and start peppering in some of those fun things you want to get or do, but don't necessarily need.
07:50 If you're not bringing in enough money, you have two options - find ways to make more, or find ways to spend less.
08:15 Consider compromises with yourself, or practice deferred gratification - giving up something now for something much better in the future.
08:49 There are so many possibilities out there. But it starts with knowing what you have, what you need, and why it matters. Budgeting is not a bad word. It’s a starting point to help you understand what you have to do to get the things you want. And when you get the things you want, you’ll wonder why the idea of organizing your money ever seemed so cringeworthy.
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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl
Monday Nov 02, 2020
Celebrating Successes
Monday Nov 02, 2020
Monday Nov 02, 2020
We are taught to be polite. Stay humble. Don’t brag.
I think those are all important habits. Arrogance is a turnoff for most people. But we need to be confident, especially when we’re running a business. Where is that line? When is it okay to talk about yourself and when does it mean you’re being cocky if you do? With the current climate of social media and personal branding, self-promotion has become necessary. But how do you promote yourself without sounding like you’re bragging?
It used to be that talking about yourself like, “Hey, look at me! Look at me!” people would think hmmm… you’re full of yourself. Now, if you don’t post about what you’re doing, it’s a missed marketing opportunity. It’s all a little too much.
What do you do when something great happens and you want to share your excitement? How do you do it in a polite, humble, non-braggy way? Especially when you don’t want to resort to a passive aggressive “humble brag,” which is when you’re basically trying to draw attention to something you’re proud of by pretending to be self-deprecating about it. We see right through that.
You don’t want to hint around and hope someone will ask you. At least I don’t – one of my pet peeves is when people hint at something instead of being direct about whatever it is they want to say. It bugs me so much that if I pick up on someone trying to get me to ask about something, I intentionally won’t. Just tell me what you want to tell me! I also don’t like the guessing game, so you know. “You’ll never guess what happened!” Nope. I won’t. Just tell me!
But, my personal nuances aside, why is it so difficult to come out and say that you’re proud about something you’ve done? If you’ve accomplished a goal, landed a big client, been asked to participate in a cool project, or whatever it might be, don’t you want people to share in that happiness with you? Especially these days, when it’s been pretty bleak for so many, isn’t that the kind of thing we all want to hear? Don’t we want our friends and family and colleagues to be excited about what they’re doing?
We should be able to celebrate our successes. Now more than ever, we need to take the wins where we can get them, and be proud of what we’ve achieved despite the craziness going on in the world. But I’ve heard a lot lately from people who feel they should apologize for doing well. “Hey, I did this great thing, but I’m not sure it’s in good taste to talk about it when so many other people are struggling.” Or, “I really want to share this, but I don’t want it to seem like I’m rubbing my good fortune in everyone’s face.” And, the worst, in my opinion, “I can’t talk to my friends about this because they’ll be jealous.” Don’t be friends with someone who doesn’t want you to do well. Ever. That’s not what a friend does.
There are so many reasons why people try to diminish their accomplishments. They shy away from acknowledging how incredible it is that they achieved a goal, because it’s “not the polite thing to do.” Or because they’re worried about how someone else might react. Or because they’re afraid that saying it out loud will jinx them somehow. But I don’t think it’s fair to you to keep it inside. So just like we’ve been encouraging everyone to open up lately – to be vulnerable about what they’re feeling when it comes to struggles and hardships – shouldn’t we also encourage everyone to share what’s going right in their lives?
Your success is not my failure. Just like my success is not your failure. There is room for all of us to succeed. And if someone else is having trouble, our success stories might actually be encouraging. Your accomplishment might be a huge inspiration to someone who needs it. Sharing something positive might motivate someone else to get out of a funk and move forward. Someone who is having a hard time might find hope in your story. Give yourself the opportunity to be that good example.
There is so much bad news in the world right now and we need to offset that with everything we can that’s good. Instead of sharing complaints, why don’t we share more compliments? Instead of targeting potential clients with questions like, “Why are you struggling?” and “What’s holding you back?” why not ask “Why are you thriving?” and “What’s propelling you forward?” I know we all want to solve their problems, but we can do that without being condescending. How about we stop assuming everyone is failing and starting talk about our wins, no matter how small they might seem. Let’s encourage everyone to share all the goodness! That’s what we all really need.
And when someone does share something they’re excited about, be excited for them. Don’t dismiss them or put them down or say their idea is dumb. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s ridiculous. Some of the best ideas are ridiculous in the beginning. Remember that people can be fragile, especially when it comes to sharing a new business idea or passion project. Your quick negative reaction, even if you don’t intend it to be harmful, might shatter their confidence and shut them down completely. If they ask for your opinion, be honest, but be polite. There’s that word again.
While we’re talking about celebrating successes, remember to also acknowledge the people who helped you get to where you are. It’s that whole saying of give credit where credit is due. Let them celebrate with you. That little shout out might mean a whole lot to them, especially when so many feel unappreciated.
Or if you did it all on your own, don’t be afraid to say I DID THIS! It’s a great feeling when you make things happen for yourself. And sometimes you have to take matters into your own hands. You can’t expect people to ask you about it, or to even realize that it’s a big deal to you. We’ve become a quick-scroll, low attention span society where it seems like we’re always connected, but we’re actually missing quite a bit. So don’t assume others will figure it out. Tell them. Share your wins. Celebrate your successes. You deserve it.
And I mean that quite literally. I’d love it if you’d send me a quick email to info@aardvarkgirl.com or DM me @aardvarkgirl to let me know something good that’s happening in your life – big or small. I’ll celebrate your success with you!
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Connect with me through your favorite platform: https://pods.link/aardvarkgirl